Gabby Mattli is a junior on the soccer team at Missouri Baptist University, but her story runs far deeper. A top volleyball prospect in high school with a state championship for good measure, Gabby played volleyball from the age of eight until she was seventeen when she quit the sport due to burnout. Her story of stepping away from the sport she'd put thousands of hours into exemplifies courage and prioritizing mental health. In this interview, Gabby talks about her fascinating journey from being a top DI volleyball prospect to playing a collegiate soccer game as a goalkeeper without prior training.

What was your volleyball background?

I first started playing when I was eight years old because my older sister was playing and would constantly hit the ball at me and challenge me to keep it up. I started playing club volleyball at this age, and my parents would drive an hour to and from my practice 3-4 times per week. 

When did you feel that it started to get more serious?

I definitely noticed a shift when I started high school, as the aim is to commit to a school in your junior year, so things started to ramp up when I was around 14. College coaches would come to watch me play at tournaments. They were unmissable, dressed head to toe in college gear, with the logo front and center on every item of clothing. It was daunting.

Did you find having college coaches in attendance daunting as a 14-15-year-old?

It was terrifying! Especially because you knew beforehand that they would be there, as they would always email saying they were coming to a specific tournament to watch me and would ask for your game times. So, seeing them show up was certainly a scary experience. Thankfully, despite being extremely nervous inside, I was pretty good at emitting confidence to everyone else watching.

At what point did you start to feel the burnout?

It came on gradually, as volleyball was consuming most, if not all, of my time. I would go to school from eight till three, leave for practice a couple of hours later, practice for another couple of hours, and then get back home late at night. The burnout started to come on heavily when I was around 14-15, which is what led me to quit my club team that I had been at for seven years, as I realized that I couldn't do it anymore. I feel as though this was influenced by the fact that this is a very vulnerable age, as it's when you start high school and have a bunch of other stuff going on in your life. There wasn't a specific thing that made my love for volleyball fade, but it started to feel like a job, and I began to feel the burnout. 

What was the highlight of your volleyball career?

Winning State in my junior year of high school was the happiest moment of mine in the sport of volleyball, as the experience was incredible. The bleachers were packed with fans, and our school traveled two hours to watch us play. The occasion was crazy, as they announced each of our names and flashing lights that accompanied us onto the court. 

What was your soccer background?

I played club soccer and volleyball when I was eight, but unfortunately, that wasn't manageable. My club volleyball coach told me I couldn't do both and needed to stay committed to volleyball when I was eight. I often wonder if I had chosen soccer, would I have still felt the burnout and ended up playing volleyball instead of soccer? Despite this, I still played recreationally when my volleyball schedule allowed. In high school, I played for a couple of years. Still, I would always miss practice due to club volleyball commitments, and my coach had a rule where I would sit out a game for each practice I missed, which meant that I hardly played. 

How would you have reacted to being told you would end up playing soccer in college?

I would have told them no way! Ever since I was a kid, all I wanted to do was play volleyball in college. Volleyball was the love of my life until it wasn't anymore. I would've laughed at that comment, but everything happens for a reason. Volleyball helped me to become the soccer player I am today. As a libero, you are always diving around and trying to keep everything off the ground, so the reflexes that I learned from that certainly helped me become the goalkeeper I am today.

How long did it take you to realize you wanted to stop volleyball, and how was it telling people?

I realized myself a good bit before telling my teammates and parents. It took me a while to tell my parents, as I felt guilty, considering how much money and time they had put into my volleyball career, and I didn't want to disappoint them. Whenever I finally built up the courage to tell my parents, I told them I no longer wanted to play volleyball as my high school coach ruined it for me, and I felt the burnout. Thankfully, my parents were very understanding and took it very well.

How far along did you get in the volleyball recruiting process?

I was talking to several D1 coaches on the phone, which was super scary as a 15-16-year-old. They were asking what I would bring to the team and what makes me a good player in an interrogation-like manner, which seemed a little intense at such a tender age. I was pretty far along in these conversations when I decided to call a halt to my volleyball career.

What advice would you give to athletes who are feeling burnout?

Take a step back. At fifteen, when I quit my club, I took an eight-month break, which was necessary for my mental well-being and figuring out what I wanted, even though that was probably the first sign that I was done with volleyball. Step back and think over what your sport means to you and whether it is worth the toll that it's taking on your mental health. A big mistake of mine was allowing my high school coach to take a toll on me and get into my head about me and my sport. Don't let a coach get involved with your relationship with your sport. 

How did the transition occur between quitting volleyball and playing college soccer?

Originally, I thought I would go to my local community college to play soccer for fun, as I had always enjoyed it despite it not being my number one. I went there as a striker/midfielder, but our goalkeeper got injured, so I put on the gloves. I have no idea how I made it through that first game, as I hadn't had any prior goalkeeping training, but I managed to pull off a couple of nice saves. 

When did you decide to play beyond junior college?

The more I played soccer, the more I started to love the sport. I thought I might as well reach out to some colleges and see what happens, and here I am about to go into my senior year at Missouri Baptist, which isn't bad considering this is only my third year playing as a goalkeeper. 

Do you think you made the right choice when switching to soccer?

100%. One of the main reasons I was leaning toward quitting volleyball was thinking about whether or not I really wanted to commit to four years of volleyball, which I was unsure about, mainly because I was talking to high-level D1 schools, which would have been a massive commitment. I'm thrilled that I quit, as I started playing soccer to have fun again; it wasn't a job or a chore; I was doing something I loved again.