Put Me In, Coach

Is Every Athlete’s Worst Nightmare a Loss Or a Learning Lesson? Coping With Getting Benched

By Grant Osborne|Updated on June 27, 2023 (originally published on April 5, 2022)

Athletes who play sports can deal with several mental challenges. One of these may be getting benched or taken out of the starting lineup. No one likes to be benched, especially if it's in a big game, but that's part of being an athlete. Athletes need to learn how to be mentally tough so when they do get benched they can use it as a learning experience and not bring them down even more. Here are some ways to help cope with being benched.

First Thoughts

Most of the time when you get benched, it may be surprising. You might be thinking you're playing well, but the coach sees something else or maybe another one of your teammates is playing better. The initial shock is one of the hardest things to deal with. You may start telling things to yourself like “you're better than the other player” or “I only had one bad game.” These thoughts can make you frustrated and angry, but also nervous. You may be wondering if you'll ever get your spot back or if the coach just doesn't like you.

Being benched can also feel embarrassing, especially if you're taken out in the middle of the game with all of your friends and family watching. When you get to the bench these thoughts take over and you may forget how to be a good teammate. You can turn into a selfish player who cares more about themself than the team. So how do we avoid that?

Dealing With Adversity

The first step after you get benched is to take a step back and avoid reacting without thinking. You're probably feeling a lot of emotions at that moment so you don't want to make any decisions that may be clouded by these feelings. Once you've calmed down, start to ask yourself “what can I do to get back out there?” or “how can I use this situation to improve my skills?” The biggest learning opportunities come from times of adversity so use getting benched to make yourself a better player.

The worst thing you can do after getting benched is only see the downside. If your coach notices that you let it affect you and that you're not mentally strong, your chances of getting off the bench diminish. Plenty of athletes have grown after being benched, by using it as an opportunity to grow.

If you're feeling defeated after being benched and need help pushing through the hard times, reach out to those closest to you. Find people who will support you and you can also explore mental health coaches that are experienced with athletes. Everyone gets benched at some point in their athletic career, so use it to your advantage.
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