Don't Leave!

Recruiting Horror Story: “Everyone Who Recruited Me Left”

By Andrea Leitner|Updated on June 27, 2023 (originally published on August 23, 2022)

Recruiting Horror Stories™ are posted every Tuesday to provide athletes' first-hand experiences of what can go wrong during the recruiting process.

***Name has been changed to preserve anonymity

Kira's recruiting process started like many girls hoping to play soccer in college. She was gaining a lot of interest from coaches during her sophomore year of high school, and was under the impression that committing sooner meant that you were a better player. That seemed to be the case, at least: usually girls committing to high-caliber soccer schools verbally committed during their freshman and sophomore years of high school.

That year, Kira went on one of her first visits and was offered a scholarship to a Division I school in Massachusetts. She loved the location of the school, and it was a successful DI program with rigorous academics. Throughout high school, Kira continued to gain interest from other universities, but she was still excited about her first choice, so decommitting never crossed her mind.

Then, Kira's junior year rolled around. She was performing well in club and high school soccer, and breaking numerous records in her hometown. Then, one day, Kira received a call from the assistant coach whom she had the most contact with during her recruiting process and found out the coach was leaving–she had been offered another opportunity to be a head coach at another DI school. This made Kira nervous, but she still thought that the school she chose was her best option…for now.

The following year, right after Kira's senior year winter break, Kira got a call from her future head coach, who was sobbing. She was no longer going to be the head coach. Her husband had gotten an opportunity elsewhere, which required them to move. There was no telling who would be the new head coach, it could be the goalkeeper coach who was already there, or the school could bring in an entirely new staff.

Kira was told that the university would still honor her scholarship, but that she could look elsewhere if she wanted. With signing day just around the corner, Kira knew that finding a new school with an open spot and scholarship money would be hard, so she decided to follow through with her verbal commitment.

Before getting to school her freshman year, Kira was angry. She felt like promises had been broken. Her former head coach had told Kira during her recruiting process that she would never leave the program. She loved the location and the school, yet after only a year and a half, she left. Kira had so many other opportunities to go elsewhere, but her loyalty to her commitment kept her where she was going.

Once Kira got to school her freshman year, she knew it was going to be hard. She wasn't playing the minutes she wanted and couldn't figure out why. She was performing well in practice but was seeing no time at all. Kira felt sad and discouraged, a pattern held true throughout her remaining time at the university. Still, she didn't want to seem like a quitter and didn't want to stop fighting for a spot..but this came at the expense of her love for soccer.

When given the opportunity to pursue her 5th year, she planned to extend her undergraduate degree, play another season, and graduate in the winter. This was her last chance to make her college career the least bit fulfilling. But ultimately, Kira put her own happiness ahead of wanting to prove herself and walked away from the sport. This wasn't her quitting–she was choosing herself.

At times, Kira thinks she should've transferred, but she also looks back and is happy she didn't. While her college career wasn't what she thought it would be, she was granted various other opportunities and built strong relationships with people at the school. Kira learned how to face adversity head-on and learned that she shouldn't be defined by her sport.

Kira's advice to athletes in her position is to understand the importance of a good relationship with the coaching staff and head coach. If you have to question if your coaches value you and appreciate you, you may want to consider other options. As a final word of advice, Kira said “I would tell [recruits] to consider all the factors involved and to make a decision that they feel is best for them and their future.”

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