Parents Can Help You Get Recruited, Too!

3 Steps to Help Parents Understand Their Role in the Recruiting Process

By Max Brown|Updated on June 27, 2023 (originally published on July 14, 2022)

Here is one question you must ask yourself as you go through the recruiting process: Have you, as the athlete, been in control? Or have your parents taken the wheel? This is important to know because every coach you will talk to will want to speak with you, the athlete, rather than your parents. Here are 3 steps to ensure your parents are able to function best in their role and give you the responsibility throughout your recruiting process.

Step 1: Acknowledge the Problem

If your parents are the main protagonists in sending emails and communicating with coaches this should be an initial sign that they are overstepping their boundary. This may be a difficult topic to bring to your parents, but that's OK! They just want what's best for you as you look to move onto the next level in college sports. It's important for you to address the issue and ask them to kindly distance themselves from the process. Remember, it is normal to ask a parent for help during the recruiting process, but they shouldn't take over. That said, DO NOT think you must shut them out from the process completely, because they can be a valuable resource.

Step 2: Explain the Importance of Player-Led Interaction

This step is key in articulating the recruiting process to your parents. As an athlete and young adult, it's important to explain that coaches want to hear from the player and not the parents. Letting your parents know that the coach is recruiting you and not them is essential as well. A coach reaches out to a player to form a connection and bond with them to see if they are a good fit for the program so the dialogue in any email or phone call should be led by the player. If you are uncomfortable speaking to a coach during this process that's ok too! Getting recruited is a learning experience for the player and sometimes even the coach. So, don't be afraid to reach out or feel discouraged after a bad phone call–it allows you to learn and approach things differently in your next one.

Step 3: Form a Partnership With Your Parents

Parents can definitely play a role in your recruiting process! It's best for you, the athlete, to be the main communicator though. Always give a coach your personal email and your personal cell phone number. It's crucial that a coach sees you taking the lead or else they may become disinterested. Have all communication come through you and if you have any questions or concerns, take them to your parents. Even if your parents are not familiar with athletics they are usually wiser than you give them credit for!

Personally, I believe parents are an excellent resource in the recruiting process. As I began to get recruited I routinely went to my parents with questions and asked for help with writing emails. Just remember to always be firm and fair in your dialogue if you think they are overstepping in the process.

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