Recruiting can be a stressful process for parents and high school athletes alike. That's why 2aDays sat down with Brian Pinkney, a father of two, who guided his daughter through Division 1 hockey recruiting. Since he just went through the process, he knew exactly what parents want to know and offered them some solid advice.  

Q: In your opinion, what should the parent's role be when it comes to the recruiting process?

A:  They should be there for support, be a supervisor, a factfinder, a verifier, an organizer, a driver, a financier, and an assistant.

Q: What advice can you give as far as what a parent should do when going through the recruiting process with their child?

A: Be there for your child. Try to listen to what they want and just be supportive. Parents should offer opinions and options for the child to ponder.

Q: What advice can you give parents on some things they should not do when going through the recruiting process with their child?

A:  Let the child do the talking as much as possible, also let the child take in the view of the school visit without comment. It is the child's life/future, and they need to see it through their eyes.

Related: What Role Do Your Parents/Family/Friends Play

Q: Do you think you should have a say in your child's final decision?

A: Yes to some extent, only intervene if the child is making a grave error in judgment.

Q: Do you wish you knew more about the recruiting process before your child went through it? Would you recommend that parent's research as much as possible before their child goes through the recruiting process? Or should they wait?

A: Yes, but knowledge is power. To be informed is necessary. The information is out there, but the parent has to do their homework to find it, talk to people in the know, and sift through the info given. 

Q: Where did you find information on the recruiting process?

A: Older player's parents, on-line, coaches, players already in the system that the child is being recruited to and grads.

Q: Do you think it would be beneficial to have a parent network where you could connect with other parents during the process?

A: Not sure on that as each child's needs are very different, and there is competition for a few choice spots. This is a competition, and one does not want to reveal all their cards to fellow competitors during the recruiting process.

Q: As a parent, what was the most stressful part of the process?

A: Hoping that the right decision was made, as it is life changing for the child concerned.

Q: From a coach's viewpoint, what do you think is the biggest mistake parents make during the process?

A: Getting too involved in the recruitment of your child. The recruiters have a process that they follow, and parent interfering does not help in the child's recruitment. The parent does not want to be labeled a ‘problem parent.' 

Q: What is the best piece of advice that you can offer to other parents?

A: Be educated and informed. The internet is your workplace for this. There is no such thing as too much knowledge on the prospective schools, recruitment, and staff involved. Try to have some fun with the process as well, as this is a magical experience that you get to have with your child. It should be special for the family too. Be patient, this is not a 2-hour new car deal at a dealership, but is spread out over several weeks.  Do not make rash, off-the-cuff decisions, without talking it out with the child and looking at options. Also seek advice from trusted people in the know, in confidence.

* Originally published on April 13, 2022, by Kaila Pinkney